"i could see myself living with your for a while"

i hate when people merge from one road onto another and don't realize that the lane they are in continues on the other road so they slow down from doing 60mph and frantically try to move over into the other lane causing me to call them bad names and pass them at the earliest possible chance.

 murray is lopsided...i hit a deer the other morning.  the damage isn't horrific, but still, poor murray.  in a 3.5 days and and handful of hundreds of dollars, he'll be as good as new...i went back to see if i had killed the deer, but couldn't see him laying by the side of the road...i hope that bastard has a big headache!

i'm running myself into the ground this semester.  i'm trying to work forty hours a week and go to college full-time.  i have this new boy...for me, it's crazy feeling happy for this long ^_^...so i'm spending time with him.  i'm trying to lose five pounds, which means i'm trying to fit in exercising at least three times a week...somewhere in there, i have to do the outside-class-college-crap, like homework and study...ha.  i'm also working on the side with a few fellow students, creating websites for local companies...it's experience and it's extra income, always a plus...AND when i do have free time, if i'm not sleeping, i try to hang out with my friends, which is hardly ever and i feel awful about that.....this semester is killing me.  it's never been this tough.  does being a year older really make that much of a difference? lol.  i hope not.

i found this entry the other day, and i've fallen in love with it...so basically, i've fallen in love with myself, lol. how conceited. 

"memories are amazing...but never are those moments thought of in the same way as they were when they weren't memories because they were the present...it's very probable, that the memories you have are not the same memories someone else has of the same moment...chances are, what you thought was amazingly cute was horribly annoying to the other person...and chances are that what you thought will always be a shared memory, will never become one...unless, it's something really special...somewhere, some place, i'm sure there's someone sharing an amazing moment with someone, where they're on the same page, on the same line, on the same letter, on the same pen stroke as someone else, and it's amazing...i want that." - dec. 24, 2004 

i think i've lost a little of my writing talent...not that i'm saying i had a great talent...i just miss writing good entries.  i'm sick of writing the "this is what i did today..." entries...my problem is that i only really feel i can write when i'm in a sad/upset/depressed mood...and i haven't really been in that sort of mood long enough to observe something that makes me think that makes my fingers move like crazy on the keyboard or with a pen in a journal.

i have been thinking a lot about the concept of family.  i have people in my life that i call my family, but sometimes i don't feel connected to them in the way a family is portrayed as being in books, on television shows, or as other families appear to be...but i've been told i take them for granted and i should appreciate the relationship that i do have with my mom or my dad or my brother and sister because some people don't have the opportunity to have even as little a connection as i do, at least i have a connection...i haven't completely accepted that advice yet.

BILLS 1-2....#95 has been pretty amazing ^_^

i just feel the need to repost this quote:

"love never dies a natural death. it dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. it dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. it dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing." - anais nin

i'm not really sure where my mind is at the moment.  i've locked away moments in my life that i don't think will see the light of day, ever again...should i worry about these moments?  worry that i could learn from them and keep them out so i can access them when the time comes?  or are they better off in the dark, black holes of my mind?...

...but i'm happy. ^_^ in both the spoken word and feeling.